


I'm sorry, Dirk

by ARCHANGELIC_GRACELESSNESS



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, Heartbreak, Loss, M/M, Regret, Remorse, Sadstuck, based on the upd8 with brain ghost dirk, dirk lives up to his name, dirks composure finally breaks, emotional dirk, erisolsprite has a cameo, jake in jail, letter of apology, super short, the prince of heart is broken, very emotional dirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 19:45:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARCHANGELIC_GRACELESSNESS/pseuds/ARCHANGELIC_GRACELESSNESS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake has been captured by a very batterwitch-washed Jane Crocker, but with a little help he manages to send out what he believes to be a final goodbye to his best bro Dirk, attempting to apologize for everything that had gone sour between them. Dirk does not react well at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm sorry, Dirk

Dirk rarely sits still, being the man of action in the team and all despite Jake's claims otherwise. Dirk is usually the first to know what to do in any situation no matter how dire, but for the moment he simply does not. He is perched uncomfortably on one of the many lichen blue-black rocks scattered about the ruins of Jake's planet LOMAX, which conveniently was the closest landing spot and most certainly not part of some kind of sentimental attachment involving the bucktoothed Briton. Not at all. With a sigh, the prince of heart's gaze scans his surroundings, and it seems that everywhere he looks there is some significance. Over by that big rock formation is where they first kissed, and that grassy hill out just on the horizon? They laid in silence together watching the stars for the longest time, that is until Jake fell asleep and the soft sound of his snoring replaced the quiet. Dirk smiles, and it is entirely bitter sweet. He knows he has to think of something, he needs to find them, he needs to find Roxy who he hasn't seen since the attack on Derse. Forcing the torent of memories of his days with Jake back like bile, he tries to formulate a decent plan to find the others, but is promptly interrupted mid thought by a surly, wavering voice curtly addressing him.

"HAY! ANIIME HAIIR MC 2HIITFACE! YOU HAVVE MAIIL!" He looks up to meet the permanently pissed off face of Jake's best buddy Erisolsprite. With no particular flare, the luminous green floating spout of profanity disinterestedly drops a thin, kind of crinkly folded over piece of paper into Dirk's gloved hands. Dirk notices straight away that It feels kind of bumpy, as though it had been wet in places then dried. The outside of the paper is covered in a crappy emerald green crayon scrawl. "Wha-" he begins to say, looking to question the strange and impossibly rude messenger, but the sprite is long gone. With a shrug he carefully unfolds it, his heart wrenching as soon as his shaded eyes register what is on the page before him.

The centre of the page adorns a hastily doodled Jake English holding hands with an equal hastily doodled Dirk Strider; katana in Dirks free hand, and pistol in Jake's. In the top left corner, the same slanty handwriting in green crayon spells out "GT: I'm sorry, dirk". The simplicity of the whole thing seems so typical of Jake's happy-go-lucky childlike nature, and Dirk feels that it makes it all the more painful.

Upon further inspection it can be pretty safely assumed that the paper had been cried over, a realization that hits him with something a little too much like nausea. "Jake..." he mouths quietly, his eyes scanning the crudely done illustration as countless frantic questions run through his mind.

What the hell? What is this drawing? Where is he? Why the fuck is he crying? What? What? What?

He hastily flips the paper over to read the message.

"hello there dirk old chap, its been a hectic few hours since we got separated has it not! you would not believe the trifle I am currently neck deep in, and that whole utterly disastrous mess with the darned trickster mode thing has really left me feeling like a top notch arsehole, to boot. but it isn't how I feel that is priority right now, its how you are feeling. I am afraid we cannot see each other for a very, very long time my friend, in fact it does seem I may never see the delightfully stoic yet charmingly bespectacled face of my best bro ever again. I have been captured by the evil batterwitch version of Jane and currently have no idea as to my bearings, so I am writing to you to make perfectly sure that you know exactly how I feel about you and us and this whole gosh darned mess. dirk strider, you have been the best bro any chap could ask for and despite everything the only person I have ever truly had feelings for in the romantic sense. you are eternally important to me, in fact just moments ago I sat whimpering on the jail cell floor like a blasted cowardly custard and my wimp minds way of coping seemed to be imagining up, well, you. I have been provided with crayons and paper to pacify my incessant blubbering, so I thought I would seize the opportunity to sneak you a final goodbye with the help of one rather happy umbrella dancing specimen. so, goodbye dirk if we never do meet again, goodbye my dearest friend."

Dirk holds out the paper with shaking hands, his face stoic and vacant for the longest time, the only sound he emits is an impossibly quiet whimper. It is at the end of this seemingly endless pause that something within him simply snaps, and with an almighty guttural sound somewhere between rage and bereavement he thrusts the paper, now crumpled in his clenched, gloved fist, to his chest. The floodgates open for the first time in as long as he can conceivably remember, entirely overwhelming him. With the knowledge that Jake is in danger and that there may be nothing at all that he can do about it, he realises. With such frustration and hurt Dirk Strider realises that even after all the selfish bullshit that he is still hopelessly in love with Jake English, and oh GOD does he hate himself for it. Squeezing his eyes shut as tight as he can, and forcing the stinging tears from his ducts, he tucks his legs up to his chest and holds himself tightly, hoping to god no one is around to see this pitiful display. It is then he finally allows himself to lets out a sound completely alien to him,

a sob.

**Author's Note:**

> This one was Reeeeeeeeally short. My dirkjake shipper heart completely broke when jake tried to cope with his dire situation by imagining that Dirk was there, even if brain-ghost-Dirk was mainly concerned with his smooth shaven legs. *nice legs daisy dukes makes the Dirk go, "GOD DAMN"* But anyway I digress, this is just something I whipped up because that upd8 was very painful. Ugh I'm just a sucker for Dirk in touch with his feelings I'm so sorry.


End file.
